The person you are seriously dating doesn’t have to be perfect. Of course, nobody is perfect, and we shouldn’t waste our time trying to find someone perfect. A lot of flaws can be overlooked in another person, especially if they’re not that important to making the relationship work. However, if you spot a guy with any of these 5 red flag behaviors, you should run in the other direction. Seriously, get out now before you get more attached. Your heart will thank you later and you’ll save your precious time. Here are 5 red flag behaviors that make me run in the other direction:
1. He’s got some beef with his ex. This may be fairly obvious, but look out for signs that he has unfinished business with his ex. If he’s talking shit about her to you, that shows how little respect he has for her. If he talks about her too much, it could show that he’s not over her or their relationship. Basically, if you find him mentioning her too much or bringing you into their past relationship, you should run far away from this guy. He’s either hung up on his ex or he’s not over the relationship itself. In both cases, it’s not worth it to stick around. You don’t want to be the ex he blabs about to his next girlfriend.
2. He doesn’t have a stable home or a job. Now, if he doesn’t have a home or a job these aren’t necessarily dealbreakers. Sometimes you can still make a relationship work even if he doesn’t have a stable home or job. If these are aspects of a relationship that you TRULY do not care about, then you should keep dating him. Generally speaking though, if you want to have a solid, stable relationship, you should stick with men that have solid, stable homes and jobs. At the very least, he should have a defined plan to get a stable housing situation or a job. Everyone has hard times in life and some people deserve a little slack. But if his lack of employment and a stable home is a chronic issue and if he shows no desire to change that, don’t continue to date him. It’s just going to save you a lot of time, trust me.
3. He has seriously outdated or offensive views. If he says anything during your dates that you find offensive or archaic, these are big warning signs. Some people are truly ignorant and it’s better to have a conversation with them about why they’re wrong instead of just dumping them. However, if he refuses to have an open mind or is just a jerk, it’s not worth it to stick around. Men like that will never change.
4. He doesn’t treat you well. This one is fairly obvious but many women overlook it. If the guy is rude to you at all, in any way, don’t waste your time. If he tears down certain people or makes shitty comments, it’s not worth it for you to spend your time with him. If he’s not going to treat you well on your first few dates, how do you think he’s going to act two years in?
5. He makes no effort to get to know you. Look at how he acts on your dates. Does he ask about you? Does he seem genuinely interested when you tell him stories about your life? Is he interested in knowing you? Some men only talk about themselves, and they spend the whole date this way. They are so preoccupied with getting you to like them that they aren’t actually focused on getting to know you for who you are. These men are definitely worth avoiding, as they have some serious self-esteem issues and therefore a complete inability to care about you. Watch how he acts on your dates. If he spends the whole time talking about himself and fails to have a discussion with you, then he’s not worth wasting time on. If he doesn’t care about you now, he’s not gonna care three years down the line.
Often these are signs that women overlook when searching for a partner. However, it’s extremely necessary for you to keep these red flag signals in the front of your mind. You deserve to find the person that is best for you, and men with these signs are generally not going to be the best for you. You deserve to use your time to the fullest potential. You don’t deserve losers who can’t get their act together.